KATY PERRY

pretty.

Oh man. For some reason, deep inside me, this video made me so happy. I was grinning from ear to ear. I think because first of all, she’s so cute. Grandma’s are the cutest. They can do no wrong. Mine in particular is uber cute and still full of quick jabs and sassy answers… like her granddaughter. I don’t wonder where I get it from anymore :) My gma is 86 and was even with me in Vegas at the show a couple weeks back singing along. Go go go! Anyway. This video makes me think when you get old life is a bit more… simple. Making dinner… making a bite for the neighbors kids… flippin through basic cable, chillin. Making a meal outta three ingredients. Ha. maybe not the most nutritional one, but heck, she’s 91 and sounds with it… pretty much besides the mention of leaving high school cause too poor for socks, twice. That could’ve just been a bad edit. Anyway, I found this very very entertaining… it also reminded me of when I lived in a studio apt in Santa Monica and was really really poor… I would get reaaaal crafty with some of the things I had left in my closet size kitchen… it was like a really fun game of survival at 20. I am very thankful of everything I have now… so thankful. But I’m sure if I get lucky enough to get old though, it’ll all come full circle to be about the simplest thing of… what’s for dinner? Amazing.

reblogged this video from the ever golden Dlisted.com

oH fUcKah…I’m GoNnA EspLoAdS AgaIn.

so cute.

if you’re afraid of the dark like me… get one of these. It’s only 24 dollars! Real cats are more. Also it’s a good replacement since Kitty Purr doesn’t have her passport yet. I love this website! : http://www.fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=4720&cat=103#

Hey that was fun. My biggest show on this tour so far… 3000 people coming to my very own sing a long. Tonight I was in Denmark… feeling a bit better…not a “she’s back moment” but better than sweat bed. I’m a real lucky girl right now. Not to brag, but why the fuck not. EVERY tour date has been sold out so far on the Hello Katy Tour! That was one of my goals for this year… to have a sold out tour… so we’ll see. I think we’re close to a check-off. Excited to go back to the UK… see you in a couple.

in my dreams.

somebody open a freaking window. It smells like death in here. Oh my gawd. I’m am SO happy… I’ve won a BRIT. That’s like being knighted practically! Maybe even better. Thank you. Didn’t espect THAT! I just thought I’d show up in my ridiculous hello kitty top and get worse dressed and leave :) I can’t tell you how bad I feel right now. Last night I was sweatin it out (ew t.m.i.) but yeah, lets just say this kitty does not look so pretty right now. Let’s see… we have the vick’s vapo rub (always a must) and thera flu… a zpack… cold wash clothes on standby and tons of water. I have the doctor on speed dial if the fever gets over 101/102. I thought I was invincible and then my body decides to show me other wise. I’m stuck in bed for the next couple of days as I should be. Im upset because Top Shop is right around the corner and I can’t move outta my sweat bed. Fucking flu. I guess we are all human. I can’t wait to come back to the brits next year… and not puke. For the moments I was there it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever been to. I saw Katie from the ting tings back stage and lil’ boots! I wanted to embrace them all but I said back off… you don’t want the chills! ha. Anyway I’m gonna go back to sweatsville and try and sleep it off some more… I gotta get better, I’m starting tour on Sunday here… so say a little prayer if you think of it. I should prolly open a window too… I love you London. You’ve been so good to me.

p.s. if you wanna buy this amazingness… it’s for a great cause! 

http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Blonds-for-MAC-Hello-Kitty-Designer-Dress_W0QQitemZ200307587603QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_CSA_WC_Dresses?hash=item200307587603&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1205

i swear you won’t get sick :) you’ll look sick though… 

oh kittens! It’s two pseudo famous people sitting next to each other… doesn’t mean we were bumping uglies! You know I don’t just do that with anyone! That’s just how the media works, as you can tell. I was there celebrating a really fun show and a boozy valentines with all my good friends. We were like a group of 25! Benji is a nice young fellow, but my heart really belongs to kitty purry/markus molinari. Hope your vagina day was as FUN as mine. Definitely not too heart breaking :) Guess what? I’m in Monte Carlo/Monaco, France right now. Oh shayth do I have frequent flyer milez for days… I wonder if you can cash in frequent flyer miles for a boyfriend rather than just dinners and gift certificates for starbucks?  ”How many miles for brad pitt, pls?” Europe you ready for some hello katy?!? YAYAYAYAYGO GO GO GO GO!  

Katy Inspired by Kittens!

OH FuCk… I’m GoNnA EsPloAd… this is too much.

Remember when we were kids and we would stay up all night before valentines day and write out our cards to chip, josh, emily, tara and zack? We would deposit a few sweethearts in each card, I was always particular… making sure the “be mines” and the “I love you’s” were in chip, josh and zacks. The “You’re the bee’s knees” and “best friends” were in the emily and tara’s. I didn’t wanna come off greedy :) I would wake up the next morning and hand deliver them… sometimes I even cheated and gave a few to the older class boys… I was smooth like that. As I progressed in years the valentines day cards went from pooh bear to hello kitty and then to vintage ones that would take a lot of time to find… then they went to the dark side. I have been on the dark side ever since. I believe it is for the best. I would like to introduce you to the most fucked up internet card site. It tells the truth with every card ever sent. Well, the hilarious truth that is. It’s like that movie… “He’s just not that into you” (which fyi is brilllsiant!) If you haven’t sent your cards out yet… and wanna skip the paper trail… let me introduce :

www.someecards.com

why lie, when you can tell the truth?

YES. YES. YES. YES.

Just in time for VALENTINES DAY… the heavens of humor shined upon us (the traveling circus (in no way related to the BSpears circus) of a tour) I’m gonna call it out right now… My manager, Bradford Elton Cobb the 3rd was apart of a MISSED CONNECTIONS on craigslist. WHAT ARE THE ODDS? Listen, if you don’t know what “missed connections” is… you have to check it out… they are always SO entertaining and very hard to pin point about who it could be about… cause it could be about ANYONE, really. Usually the stories are like… “So I saw you at the coffee bean and tea leaf on robertson and beverly… and you ordered a soy mocha frap no whip… I was too nervous to say anything to you… call me.” Anyway, someone found this for him and then I, of course, made him send it to me. These should be renamed StAlKeR CoNnEcTiOnS. 

It’s GENUIS!

My only response to her though is, honey, don’t let that mississippi charm fool you for a second! Turn your radar on… he’s a bona-fide DELTA QUEEN!

Happy Valentines Day! 

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/mis/1025745586.html

i long for the day of my missed connection…

I saw this the other day online and thought to myself how useful this would be for tour… I could change outfits with a snap of the fingers!!! I need to pick magic as a hobby. Or maybe I already have….. whoooo ho ho ha ha ha ha.

HAHAHA. 

My parents approved the most redick family fotos and sent them into CBS without thinking about it or asking what I thought about it. You can imagine as I am sitting there watching the tv, hands over face… mortified. Thank you mom and dad… at the old age of 24 you continue to succeed in making my face red. I would have sent in more of my pageant photos of course… but… what fun would that be? I love to play a wonderful game of YOUR TEAM. And this a is great YOUR TEAM. (basically you put a bunch of iidjiiots on your friends team so they are just totally impaired in life :) I wanna your team all my fans with a photo of my HOT GINGE sister, Angela. Wow. look at that tender mess.

We’re sorry all the gingers are going extinct. We salute you for you braveness of being a ginge.

p.s. she’s gonna kill me when she wakes up and finds the spreading of the ginge foto all over the www. yesss.the.power.is.mine.

…coming soon to a television near you.

(you KNOW I died a little this morning when seeing it. I’ve always wanted watermelon breastestes.)

AND now for some behind the scenes of the Hello Katy Tour!!!

Markus, who is my professional stretcher and bff. This is how I get ready for the show… oh yeah, and hey Johnny! www.johnyourmark.tumblr.com. Marches is out on the road for a while… yay! Girls club meeting every night!

I would be dead in a ditch with out these boys.

CORRECTION: PEOPLE.com’s Feb. 2 report that Katy Perry told an audience at her show in Los Angeles not to date the lead singer from Gym Class Heroes (Travis McCoy) was incorrect. The quote was based on erroneous reporting. People.com regrets the error.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0„20256337,00.html

I challenged them to actually find the audio clip/video of me “QUOTED” saying that.

They of course couldn’t cause… I didn’t say that. I would never be so tacky. I go great lengths to keep it about the music. I made a different random type of joke before I introduced my song, ur so gay. I never mentioned Travis or his lovely band, as they are all still friends of mine.

I don’t care if you make fun of me, my music, my zits, my cellulite or my bad choice of clothing… I really don’t. Just have some soul, and don’t LIE. I am not asking to be exempt from the media, I am just asking for some fucking fact checking.

…steps off soap box.

*forgive me to those who don’t understand, nor care. Onwards and upwards!*

in my dreams :)